1. I'm not really angry with this person anymore
2. I do not want to be reminded of this incident anymore.
And I'm prepared to bury everything and just delete her off my contact list because there's really no point in talking about it. What do I want? More lies to cover up for the previous ones?
But I have a friend, who analyzed this with me. We agreed that it's probably due to the lack of love she felt and maybe she just wanted some attention, and on the other hand, probably afraid that two of her good friends will end up being good friends and leave her out, so she has to tell some lies or exaggerate things to make people care for her.
He said that she will never know where her problem lies if everybody just get angry with her and ignore her. This friend also said that even if I do not wish to have any contacts with her anymore, I should just tell her what's wrong.
It's not that I haven't tried telling when we were still friends, I even said I believe that she don't mean the things she say and she should really try not to say anything if she doesn't have anything nice to say because people always misunderstands, But look at what happened in the end, a chance to attack me, maybe all I should have said is that she didn't do anything wrong, its the people who are wrong to treat her like this, and wrong to tell her that she's in the wrong...
I've decided to just blog it out because I don't want her accusing me of scolding her, or hurting her and making her cry again.
And I guess she wants a response from me by blogging about me so she gets it, but she has really left out lots of important information. (She has already taken down all the relevant entries.)
Anyway, she blogged this post about K always siding me just because he used to like me, even though she THINKS that I'm in the wrong, always bullying her and stuffs like. So she says that K is not a good friend because he doesn't side her and even said that she hears that K has a weird character but yet still befriended him but at the same time with the thought of deleting him from her facebook but K beat her to it and deleted her instead. K is wrong in a lot of ways and should therefore reflect on his mistakes.
So I guess that makes her a victim and that she is a very noble person. From the things she told K, she left out bits and pieces of important information and tried to convince K that me and my mum are bad people, even going as far to show him all the text messages which I sent to her and insisted that I meant this and that even though I did not say anything like that in the message.
So we are wrong to ask her to buy her own necessities, K is wrong to think that there's nothing wrong in this, the whole world who disagrees with her are wrong.
Next entry, she blogged about me. She said that her friends were always scolding me but yet she is the one always defending me and stuff.
How noble... But she is contradicting here because she was the one who was trying to convince K to dislike me, how can she be the one who defends me next? Conscience pricking? And, I would really like to know how did you get your friends to scold me without you bad-mouthing me? If you really did defend me, that would mean that you do not think that I've harmed you and that means you wouldn't have gone and bad mouthed me in the first place. If you really did bad mouth me, why be such a hypocrite to "defend" me? Trying to show how noble you are again? Nobody goes so far to make someone scold their friends then turn around to defend them. It's like, "Today, Sue tripped me on purpose for nothing at all!! I fell down and had this big bruise on my knee. It hurts really badly now, I cried so much... but no, she's really a good friend, she's not a bad person, please believe me."
If you really want to compare between how much I defended for you when we were still friends to how you "defended" for me when I found out that you had been backstabbing me, I will do just that with you. AND mind you, I so did not bad mouth you, your reputation was already bad to BOTH our friends who know you in real life, who knew you for more than 4 years, who knew what kind of person you are but warned me against you when they FOUND out that I was housing you. What about your friends and me? We don't even know each other.
If our problems started just because of some simple things like asking you to buy your own necessities, and telling you that you have to provide for yourself when you are out of your parents' house, then I wish I am very rich so I can just provide everything for you, you don't even have to pay me rent.
If you want to talk about hurt, I feel even more hurtful when I got stabbed by you. And I don't understand how you can still ask me to go out with you happily but yet telling others at the same time how much harm I've done to you. I wouldn't want to go out with a person who harmed me, I don't understand how you could do that.
And finally, you said you know I did a lot of things for you. But I never wanted anything back from you, get this clear so stop going round making it seems like I want you to repay me. I want nothing from you, no good things, no bad things either, I want nothing. I just feel so sore that you gave me a lot of bad things. Also, look into your own conscience, don't be so mean to drag my family or my boyfriend into this matter.
p/s: Don't ask me to burn the cup if I want to, that's very immature...
I feel that I've tried my best to blog about this in a very calm manner. And I've already tried my best to get over this, I can accept lies, but not lies out to harm me in anyway. I thought I'm no longer angry but it turns out that I'm still affected, I still feel stupid even without friends telling me that I am. Mummy told me to accept it and move on because I should always feel grateful even to those who hurt me, since they made me grow up and be more open-hearted, that I can still be friends with anybody...
But I'm not so sure if I can just do that yet...
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